brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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