she was so not down for the gang bang
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
