I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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