I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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