I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
