he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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