Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is my gift to your gina
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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