i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
