Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
