He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
