Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to calm my uterus...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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