somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
