You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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