Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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