i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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