there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
