Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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