no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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