No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
