Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
