problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
