K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
