he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
