That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
