i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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