Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did we literally take a cab across the street
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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