there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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