I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
