you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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