Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
