DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
