and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
