Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
