My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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