hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize