Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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