im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
