No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
