If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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