OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
