umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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