It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
