You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
