He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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