Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
