and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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