Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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