Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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