So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
