i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
