I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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