I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
