so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
