break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
