One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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