google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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