my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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